How about giving yourself a gift and a bit of
love by
take some time just for yourself--while
you're going through your breakup or divorce.
Your life may be crazy and you may feel like
you just can't cope. It may seem that you never get it all done.
You find yourself becoming impatient with people. You may have
no time for yourself or too much time after your breakup.
If this describes you, it's time to
revitalize and rejuvenate yourself, spending some time investing
in you.
Susie found that one of the best ways to do
this after the breakup of her first marriage (and be kinder and
more loving to the people in her life) was to develop a regular
meditation practice--a time when she could get in touch with
"her" and revitalize.
We know that you might be thinking "I don't
have time for that" or "Meditation is just too weird for me" but
we invite you to read on for some really practical tips on how
to get started to feeling better and being more loving to
yourself and to others.
Many people know the benefits to having a
regular time for meditate each day but simply don't do it.
Some big beliefs that keep people from
meditating are...
1. Don't have the time or the privacy
2. Don't know how
3. Don't feel the benefits when I do it
4. Can't sit still
5. Can't still my mind when I do sit down to
do it
And there are many more beliefs that keep
people from
meditating.
So what would be a stronger reason to
meditate than to not do it?
It's pretty simple for Susie.
It just makes her feel better (even coping
with a broken heart)--physically, mentally and emotionally--and
because she feels more "centered," she's kinder to the people in
her life--and she just feels better.
Here are some pointers if you want to start
doing some sort of meditating every day...
1. Choose a time during the day when you feel
a drop in your energy level and a time that works with your
schedule--or a time when you feel really sad. Susie
usually starts feeling a drop in energy
around 4:30pm each day so that is a perfect time for her to do a
meditating "pick-me-up." Other people find that the first thing
in the morning or right before they go to bed works for them.
2. If you aren't used to meditating, start
small. Start by
taking 15 minutes and calling it your
investment time in
yourself. Find a quiet place (if you can't
find one, create
one) and tell everyone that you don't want to
be disturbed during this time. Use an ordinary kitchen timer to
monitor your time for you.
Remember how the flight attendants tell you
in case of
emergency to put your oxygen mask on first
before helping others with theirs? If you take some time each
day to renew you, you will be better with others--especially
your kids. Take our word for it--we've seen it in action many,
many times.
3. Meditation doesn't have to be sitting in
one spot, in a
lotus position and not moving. You can
develop a moving meditation practice as long as you are allowing
your mind to clear from your thoughts and worries. Otto goes out
to a spot in nature that he loves and either walks or sits
there. To an observer, what he's doing may not look like
meditation but he always comes back renewed. So experiment and
find a way that works for you. Susie usually sits for her
meditation time but in a chair with both feet on the floor or
sometimes even in bed.
4. Don't expect to be perfect at clearing the
thoughts from your mind--especially after a breakup or divorce.
As the Buddhist nun Pema Chodron has said in her
books and audios, she's been meditating for
over 30 years and even she has trouble clearing her mind of
thoughts for more than a few seconds at times. So forget
perfection and just go for allowing the thoughts, beliefs and
ideas that you are holding in your body to relax their grip on
you.
After a few minutes of just sitting,
breathing and moving
her attention into the center of her body,
Susie feels her body relaxing. She's always surprised to observe
that she had been holding tension that she hadn't been aware of.
So if you've never tried meditation (or maybe
you have many times) and the word might even conjure up
negativity in your mind, shift it to your time of renewal and
the time that you are investing in you--to help you become a
better person.
We hope these tips help you feel better and
help you grow stronger as you heal from your breakup or divorce.
