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Love and Relationship
Advice
Susie and Otto Collins
This is a copy of the July 31, 2000 edition of
our weekly newsletter, Susie and Otto Collins Love and Healing Center's
Relationship and Spiritual Growth Newsletter.
We hope you enjoy it!
Please forward this newsletter to your
friends, family and associates.
To join this newsletter list, get free
reports and more information to help you create extraordinary
relationships, visit us at http://www.collinspartners.com
This Weeks Article:
Assumptions
by Susie and Otto Collins
We just got back from a very powerful workshop on Spiritual Partnerships with Gary
Zukav,
author of Seat of the Soul, and his spiritual partner Linda Francis.
The great thing about attending a weekend workshop like this is that you get to learn a lot about yourself
and your partner. We got to learn about how making simple assumptions can damage relationships very
quickly. Simple assumptions that we make about each other and situations can lead to resentment,
distance and emotional separation if left unaddressed.
During our 12 hour drive to the workshop, Susie had a apple as a snack. She asked Otto if he
wanted an apple. He looked at the apple and saw only one and assumed that that was the
only apple in the food bag. Since he wasn't hungry in that moment, but knew he would
be soon, he mistakenly assumed that Susie was about to have the only apple.
A short time later Otto had tortilla chips for a snack instead of the apple he would have
preferred. Now he didn't resent Susie for eating the "last apple" but he silently wished
there was another apple to eat instead of the chips. Susie was unaware of his assumption
and desire for an apple, and it wasn't until the food bag was taken to the room and
unpacked that three other apples appeared.
If Otto hadn't assumed that there was only one apple in the bag, he would have had what he really
wanted to eat instead of the chips.
Isn't this what we often do in relationships?
We silently want our relationships to be more passionate, more connected, more
loving but we don't know how to communicate our needs to our partner.
We assume what we want isn't available or isn't possible, without attempting to make the
connection with our partner and speak our needs in a way that they can be understood.
Sometimes we know what our needs are but don't express them because we are
fearful what our partner will say or how he/she will react. So it's easier to keep silent.
In our relationship, we have learned that if we don't communicate consciously and constantly,
we start to make assumptions about how the other will react in a given situation and those
assumptions are usually dead wrong.
We've found that when we make assumptions, we're not living in the present moment--we are
either in the past or in the future.
We suggest that you not make assumptions about how someone else is feeling or thinking
in any relationship--no matter how long you've been together and how well you know that person.
We are all constantly growing and changing. If we want to grow together instead of growing
apart, the most important thing you can do is to constantly communicate, one moment at a
time. Decide to consciously create your lives the way you want them to be instead of
allowing your lives to happen to you.
Live consciously at all times based on your intentions on how you want your life to be. The apple is there
if you want it.
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Relationship Quote of the Week
"Stay awake. Keeping your relationship alive requires constant attention." Susie Collins
This quote is from our book filled with "101 Relationship Quotes Worth a Million
Dollars!" To read more great quotes like this one, go to http://www.collinspartners.com/books.htm
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Have a great week everyone.
Yours in love and light,
Susie and Otto Collins http://www.collinspartners.com
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