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Love and Relationship
Advice
Susie and Otto Collins
This is a copy of the September 5, 2000 edition
of our weekly newsletter, Susie and Otto Collins Love and Healing Center's
Relationship and Spiritual Growth Newsletter.
We hope you enjoy it!
Please forward this newsletter to your
friends, family and associates.
To join this newsletter list, get free
reports and more information to help you create extraordinary
relationships, visit us at http://www.collinspartners.com
This Weeks Article:
How Badly Do You Want Intimacy In Your Relationships?
Susie and Otto Collins
This week Susie was at a meeting of all women and one of the participants wistfully told them about the elk.
According to this woman, the female elks live and raise their young in the company of other female elks.
The male elks come around once a year, the females pick out the best males, mate, and then
separate for the rest of the year.
This woman was envious of this arrangement and suggested that humans might be better off to emulate the elk's
ways. Because we're students of relationships, we couldn't help but make a few observations, hopefully
providing food for thought for you.
If we, as humans, emulated the elk, the people with whom we would have intimate relationships would be kept
at a distance. In our opinion, emotional distance and intimacy cannot co-exist.
To us, this is not an issue of gender or sexual preference but rather an issue of intimacy within relationship.
We believe that intimate relationships, whether between sexual partners, close friends or family members, are
opportunities for spiritual growth and personal healing.
If we find that we are putting distance between ourselves and anyone we are intimate with, then one of two things
may be happening: either fear of one kind or another is present or the dynamics are changing between the two
of you and you begin growing in different directions, causing emotional separation.
Everyday we receive email messages from people who talk about being in disconnected relationships
and having disconnected sex. We've learned
from our own lives and from other's lives that disconnected sex does not bring intimacy. It only
provides a temporary mask which covers up the
challenges within the relationship.
Do you notice the number of ads for Viagra and the number of people using it? Now, we're not
being judgmental here--just pointing out that many
people are searching for that connection of the heart and soul-- that intimacy that is missing
or has evaporated over many years of marriage.
Intimacy is not something that you can fix with a drug. It takes two people truly interested and willing
to work for a connection of the heart and soul.
Gary Zukav, author of Seat of the Soul, talks about the new species of human that is being
born today. We're no longer here for physical
survival as our ancestors but rather for a spiritual awakening.
We feel that this spiritual awakening is happening in great numbers because people are desiring
to live more consciously and authentically in
alignment with whom they really are. Intimate relationships or spiritual partnerships are
helping people to do this.
Most of us spend our whole lives, consciously or unconsciously, trying to find our connection with
Spirit. We believe that this is the same connection
that we feel in a deep union with another person.
We've found that if there is distance between two people and they want an intimate connection,
there's only one way-- and that is to tackle the
core issues that they fear may destroy the relationship.
Kenny Loggins, in his book The Unimaginable Life, asked the question that we'll ask you-- How badly
do you want an intimate relationship?
Do you want distance and separation like the elk or do you want a deep spiritual connection?
The choice is up to you.
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